We all have this one imperfection we wish we could change. Mine started with “Oversized Arms” & ended with obsessing about my whole body. I remember when I was a kid I always looked at my arms as if it was a bodybuilder arms (Even my friends called me “HULK”! & I remember I used to wear loose shirts so as not to feel uncomfortable.
Having a passion in health & fitness got me extremely over occupied with how I look & how people see me. I believed that in order to stay credible & coach people, I should always be on a strict healthy diet & workout plan.
With social media, perfect pictures covers of flawless women all contributed to increasing my anxiety & obsessive behaviour. I knew I have a disordered body image.
I was always seeking verbal approvals of my looks & it became part of a dark cycle to me. One day I would wake up feeling extremely uncomfortable in my body & my negative self-talk led me to overeating —Food cravings—Addiction.
Little did I know that everything begins & ends in one place: The mind. The body is just a physical reflection of the choices you make over a lifetime. Being a rigidly “Good eater” who follows a set of rules & never deviates didn’t leave me a happier or a more satisfied person.
It wasn’t until I took the decision to practice “Awareness” & focused all my attention on how my body really feels. Decreasing the time looking at the mirror really helped me focus more on what’s inside & I felt wonderful. Being grateful for those thick legs to be able to lift me everyday & make me enjoy my workouts, walk, run, swim… you name it.
Counting my blessings everyday lowered my anxiety & shifted my focus into more positive thoughts. I know it’s a journey & it could come back anytime. But I am striving everyday to cherish what I have & be grateful for being healthy, happy & humble.
It’s not easy to live in a toxic judgmental environment & its not easy to have a dysmorphic mind. I know I will be living with it for quite a while but I also know that I am completely aware, accepting & working really hard to stay sane & healthy.
From one body to another, I hope this post makes some of you realize that they are not alone. I have come to realize regardless of how the world sees us, our mind is way more powerful in reflecting how we deeply see ourselves. xx