In loving memory of 7abebi – BABA

I got a phone call from my mother in Feb 2020 telling me that dad has fell suddenly in the bathroom & couldn’t feel his legs.  I knew deep down this time that its going to be serious & I was right.

7 months later, baba passed away spending his last months in bed. I still find it very hard to remember any memory before this incident. It’s as if all my memories of him in good health is temporarily blocked.

I lost him when Ghazal was 4 months old. Can you imagine the emotional wreck I was in?

I am journaling, speaking to him at night, fetching for pictures in hopes to bring our memories back. I am still struggling…

All of us experience grief in different ways. Mine was being okay for a whole year then hitting rock bottom.  Anger was my first emotion & over time I have learned that I should let myself feel all the feels. There is no right or wrong way to grief.

If you are grieving right now, know that all your emotions are valid. There is no end to grieving & its okay to live with a broken heart. My heart is softer, I am more compassionate &  kinder to the world in general. I have become more in touch with myself & I am grateful for having him 32 years by my side. 

TODAY I AM SHOWING UP FOR MYSELF WITH COMPASSION. How are you showing up for yourself today?

To be continued…..

“I believe that beyond this space & time, all is well & all will be well”

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2 Comments

  1. Salwlaw
    December 3, 2021 / 6:10 pm

    Do u know that i am reading your words kol shewaya .. as its the same feelings, bas not struggling awy because people around&family talking about him always w mawkfoh ma3ahm w kol elde7k wel 7akawy byftkroha & he always comes in my dreams bel Nutella 😁
    ..But I always learn something from u or even u make a spot on something to remember “That I have become more in touch with myself” and its okay to live with broken heart 💕
    Rabena yesbark habebty w ye3enk 3ala ghazl w tekon agmd good girl fel donia

    • samirakhalil
      Author
      December 4, 2021 / 5:18 pm

      Salawlaw 🙂 You are blessed with your family & friends. They are the real support system, the real wealth. Rabena yesabarna game3an xoxo

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